The Empty Drum

This morning, I read Tolstoy instead of writing. This was an unprecdented act for me. I did it because I was so very hurt, that the one time I reached out and tried to contact a local eharmony match, I was turned down.

(I exaggerate this to you so I can talk about Tolstoy; I exaggerate to myself to justify reading Tolstoy in the first place.)

So at Carribou 6:30 a.m., I crack open The Collected Short Stories and read the Empty Drum. Two things struck me from the outset:
1) This opening does not use the kind of realistic set up he employs in other stories to focus in on the moral/aesthetic/spiritual problems that he usual wants to get to. He uses a kind of magical opening. Emelyan is a poor labourer walking across the fields when

2) A Girl just magically appears. This was obviously very painful for me because
2a) I, like Emelyan, am a poor labourer.
2b) I would totally want a girl to appear just like this, and even with my $99.00/3 month Crazy .com dating scheme, it still ain't happening.

Now it was very painful to read this, but the voice of the girl in the story was terribly captivating. When she asks Emelyan to take her as a wife, he says he is worried about how they would live. This is what she says:
"One only has to work more and sleep less, and one can clothe and fee onself anywhere."

Once again I have two observations:

A. That is a way better pick up line than mine:
Wanna read my blog? I update it, like everyday.

B. Tolstoy gives all the best lines to the girl. I mean, it doesn't seem typical of Tolstoy to have sage characters let alone a female sage.

This post is dedicated to 19th century Russian peasants named StephAn.